Cowboys

This is a list of what I should've been but I'm not

Whenever another chapter comes down from review it is moment of joy and the deepest waves of anxiety as I hover my cursor over the 'View All Critiques' button.

This happens every time, my deepest insecurities of my writing rearing and surfacing, monsters whispering in my ear the worst possible truths. These people that come back and critique every week are the first truly foreign eyes to view these passages, so I can't help but fear their response.

And every time I finally force for myself to read their words I find their advice and I work to implement it and I have the strength to carry on. It inspires me to work harder, to keep pushing, yet despite that I still fear starting the process.

This is every Wednesday.

I like to think it will get better when we get deeper in the story. I am the most self-conscious of the Jake introductory arc, I fear that it's boring and will have hard time holding reader's attention. The hook is the hardest part to capture and tame.

This is a list of things I should've seen, but I am not seeing